Regret
by AceSabo
Summary: You are now Pordgas D. Ace who remembers the boy who is long ago dead


**(A/N:I ship AceSabo, they are my otp and I don't see any fanfics that's written for them, so I'm doing it myself until there's enough AceSabo out there. And forgive my grammar it's my very first time writing a fanfic and English is not my mother language, so yeah. And the poem is mine! No copying!)**

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't go there**

**Warning: Language and swearing, it's my otp so it's a romance not a bromance, so slash**

You remember how Luffy sort of hugged you and stood speechless, hearing everything you say without interrupting, like he's hearing your voice for the last time, oh. Right, it was his last time. So he does care. About me. About **him.**

These thoughts of Luffy and **him** comforted you, making your pain become numb and the affection you hold for them waved through your body. Affection and regret. For the last and second time you regret the times you fought without Luffy and **him**.

You kneel there saying the things you always meant to say to him since the day he became your sworn brother, and he would have cried, you just know he would, like a child if the shock hadn't blocked the realization to his mind. All while you were saying, you thought about the days you spent with Luffy and **him**. You thanked your little brother for loving you, you-the only son of the Pirate King, the monster, and you regretted not telling these words to **him**.

And you start remembering the things you blocked away from your brain when **he **had gone away.

~Years in Past~

* * *

**When you lose something you can't replace**

**You'll miss someone you can't get back**

You stood there reading the things **he **wrote. Each words were tearing your heart into pieces. And the words that are rolling around your mind don't make it any better.

_**He is gone **_

**He has done**

**Everything he could for you**

**He loved you with a fire hot**

**And waited for you to notice**

**The undying love he got**

**He cared about you with a silent worry**

**He was really patient about you**

**Waited, waited with no force or hurry**

Only now you are admitting, only now you are realizing, how stupid you were

**You never admitted how much you loved**

**That gap-toothed goofy grin**

You always teased him about his teeth, but now, you want to take everything you said back. He was really childish with those teeth, so lively.

**That endearing caring smile**

You always said that he was too soft, but now you see, you only said those words because you were jealous that Luffy got all his affection and not you, you always wanted that tenderness to be hold towards you and not that idiot.

**That stupidly cute snicker**

You always made faces when he acted shy and snickered, you made him thought that the faces you made was out of disgust, heck, you even thought that yourself, but now, you understand that you only loved his disgustingly cute snicker.

**That warm affectionate voice**

You always told him to shut up when he sang a lullaby so Luffy can sleep, he always obeyed and fell silent, and your gut always clenched with something, you thought it was a relief, but now you realize that it was regret. You loved his voice.

**Those ocean calm eyes**

Those eyes, blue, calm and beautiful eyes, that always guarded your dreams. At first, you thought it was just a haunting thing of your sleep, but now you admit, it was your dream to hold the gaze of those jewels that are his eyes towards to you, only to you, all to you. But now it's too late to keep that dream.

**He was the point of your laughter, happiness and joy**

**He was the most important living in your world**

**To say simply**

**And you never realized that until this very moment**

**To tell idly**

You loved him.

**Funny how people start regretting only in the lonely end**

And you feel regret for the first time in your life. You loved him too much

~Present day~

* * *

Shit. You feel it. You're not going to last long.

Shit, shit, shit. FUCK. You can't keep the promise you hold for him, and that's what you're regretting. Heh. He is the main source of your regret, isn't he?

Thankfulness, affection and _regret_ are the last things you felt before the peace hit you.

As the darkness start to surround you, you think of those eyes and smiles, you think of him.

"Sorry"-and you're a goner.

* * *

When you open your eyes, you're quite confused. You check your chest for any hole in it, none. Heh. A nightmare then…..wait. Where the hell are you?

All you see is the sky when you look up, and you feel some kind of fluffy pillow under your body. You stand up and-WHAT?!

You slowly start to realize that you ARE actually dead and not in a hell. You were pretty sure you would have ended up in hell, but no, you're in paradise.

You slowly scan the clouds and blindingly bright color of the blue sky, and you spot a something from afar.

You start running towards whatever or whoever it is in there. You pause you wild running and start walking calmly, you gotta give that thing or body a good first impression, right?

When you come close, you see a white, pure white wing on it's back. Angel?

You walk really slowly now, carefully even, you need to be alarmed, just a habit that was kicked into you when you were a child.

"….._oh, poor Ace"_-you froze. You're going mad, the first thing that came to your mind, yep, you are. Because the voice was a little too familiar to you. It just can't be.

But somehow, you put aside your pride and have some hope. The closer you get to this angel the more your hope get up. You don't want your hope to crash, no, not again.

All those years, you secretly looked for **him**, hoping **he's** still alive. You always get your hopes up when you see a blonde curly hair with a hat on it. And always get your hopes crashed twice as hard when you actually **believe** it's **him **and that it's not him at all. So you learned to not get your hopes up.

But this time, your hope is getting up fast, too fast, you hope it won't hurt that much when it falls down.

The angel before you has a hat familiar hat to **his**, familiar short to **his** and a familiar hair to **his**. And what made it even more confusing? The angel had the same weight as **he** did when I last saw **him**.

Suddenly there's a strong breeze that's caused by whatever the angel is doing with his hands. The hat fell down right beside my feet, I look down and I know it will hurt a lot if my hope crashes down. The hat has the same goggles **he** had.

You look to the angel with a rush. You wait, patiently for the first time in your life, or afterlife.

The angel was making something out of the cloud, that's familiar to your necklace.

"_Ace, you came a little too early,"-_you froze the second time since you woke up. It's **him**. It just had to be **him**! You think you pretty much deserve it, deserve to meet **him** again. You don't want to count the countless time you got you hope crashed, because it's too much. You don't want to miss him and tear you heart, because you don't have any heart to be torn anymore. You don't want to regret again.

The angel looks around and your breathing stopped. "You didn't keep your promise, asshole"-it's **him**. It's _**Sabo.**_


End file.
